I inadvertently skipped over this very important part of my talk on St. Paul last night, so I share it here ...
Another reason I don't take the "wives be submissive to your husband" verses in Colossians and Ephesians as coming from Paul himself, is because in First Corinthians, which we KNOW Paul wrote, he has advice for married men and women that calls for radical mutuality in the marriage bed.
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is well for a man not to touch a woman." But because of cases of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
In a patriarchal world, where women's sexuality was widely seen as solely under the control of men, Paul's image of husband and wife as subordinate one to the other, each with his or her own rights to sexual pleasure in the marriage bed, is far ahead of his time.