Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Easter Jokes

The Orthodox traditions call Easter Monday a day of holy hilarity. It is a day to remember God's great joke on the cosmos in raising Jesus from the dead. So it is a day for celebration, and for telling jokes. Do you know a good Easter joke? Share it in the comments section (see green link at the bottom that says "comments", click and share).

Here's my favorite:


Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of Heaven.
St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can
answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November
when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful."

"Wrong!" replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde
the same question, "What is Easter?"

The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when
we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth
of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust,
tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the
third blonde.

He asks, "What is Easter?"

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the
eyes, "I know what Easter is."

"Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously.

"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish
celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at
the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to
the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be
crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of
thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands.
He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large
boulder."

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside
so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there
will be six more weeks of winter."

4 comments:

  1. A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

    My friend said, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

    Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

    He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Q: What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade?

    A: Hot, cross bunnies.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.

    He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

    The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,
    Pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
    Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD .

    The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

    A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway

    Sees a man crying on the side of the road

    And pulls over.



    She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

    "I feel terrible," ! He explains,

    "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."
    The blonde says,"Don't worry."


    She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.

    She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny,
    Bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.
    The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them
    And hops off down the road.

    Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again. He hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves. Hopsanother ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again,until he hops out of sight.

    The man is astonished.
    He runs over to the woman and demands,


    "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny ?"

    The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

    It says..

    (Are you ready for this?)

    (Are you sure?)

    (You know you're gonna be sorry)

    (Last chance)





    (OK, here it is)





    It says,





    "Hair Spray

    Restores life to dead hair,

    And adds permanent wave."

    Happy Easter

    ReplyDelete
  4. Q: What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards?

    A: A receding hare line

    ReplyDelete